The Middle Chapters

This past week our family has gone to two dinners at friends' houses - a Sunday night dinner and Thanksgiving. The first was stressful and just not fun. Bacon was having a great time running around with S, but not eating and as the evening progressed, started running into things, falling down and losing it. As tired as I already was (the nights are not going as well as they were), I wasn't the least bit helpful and left feeling like I needed at least 7 cocktails.

After that, my expectations for Thanksgiving were much lower and I had a much better time. At least one of my children was melting at all times. I didn't really get to talk to anyone, but I did get to eat. D didn't get much food.

Bacon is having serious tantrums these days. They are focused a lot of having me do what she wants when she wants. But also involve things like not putting on clothes and not getting into her highchair. I guess a lot of control type things. I assume that this is related to baby A coming into the picture. She's generally great with him, but hasn't really gotten the concept that she needs to be consistently gentle with him and can't climb over him to get to me or lean on him when he's in her way.

D was mostly home sick this week and although he was sick and working from home, it was still not what life will be like when he's back at work. I'm still trying to figure out how to work those brief moments when both kids are seeming to need all my attention in the same time, but I keep hoping that with practice I'll figure it out.

A's 2 week checkup was today and he's actually growing. Yeah, I shouldn't be surprised but I just couldn't tell. The part of me that is sure I must be screwing this up somehow was sure he wasn't getting enough to eat. The rest of me did a high five with A when we heard that he now weighs 8 lbs 8 oz, up over a pound from his post birth low of 7 lbs 4 oz.

And my laptop lives. That's a lot of good news for one day.

I knew it would happen some day, I just didn't think it would be so soon. My laptop died. D thinks its just the monitor, so all my stuff may not be gone. I never noticed how much I rely (and have stored) on my laptop. I so hope its not gone for good.

On the homefront: I'm well, D is sick, and only a few days until reality with 2 kids (then Thanksgiving) hits. A is going through a feed every hour thing which is clashing with Bacon's need for attention, but every day is making the new world order just the regular every day. Every morning Bacon asks after the baby and really seems to like having him around. He's still very low maintenance, so there is generally little conflict. I can't wait until he can actually do things. I think Bacon is thinking the same thing.

My mom left on Saturday, so we're down to 2 full time adults/2 kids for another week. I've been sick for a week and a half, so I'm really hoping to get more sleep and kick this thing before the return to real life. But I'm wondering if real life is a bit more relaxing than this post-birth break. I know that it wasn't supposed to happen, but I did feel the need and desire to entertain my mom. Time that I normally would have spent happily sleeping or reading was spent up with her. I just didn't want to miss out on her visit or have her have a bad time. The same result for different reasons, to some degree, is true when D is home. There's so much that needs to get done that I should be doing it, when truth be told, I'd rather be in a coma. This lingering throat/chest thing is a clear signal that I need more rest. I've known that since it started. Now I simply need to do it.

The 2 kid thing is interesting so far. Bacon loves the baby and wants to see him, give him his pacifier, and be in control of where he lays. She's either indifferent or unhappy about sharing the nursing, but I've got a great supply so it seems to be working fine so far. She either has a bit of what I have or is teething (there's lots of drool), because she has been her crabby self lately. She's normally pretty upbeat, happy and easily distracted. Crabby girl comes out when she's not feeling well. It's getting better. But the last few hours before she goes to bed and been a bit much the last few days.

I can't quite remember what Bacon was like at this age. I think I remember staring at her a lot and waiting for her to wake up. I'm both looking forward and dreading the time when A is up more. The pattern is already changing and solid sleep a bit tougher to get. But I also can't wait to find out who he is.

Things are going swimmingly well - in large part I fear because we have at least 3 adults to deal with a toddler and a newborn. A is quite different than Bacon as a newborn. He sleeps a ton and rarely cries. Of course not dealing with (a) getting my nipples into shape (the one advantage I've found to not having weaned Bacon) and (b) the fear of dealing with all new issues is helping tremendously. I'm not waking A up to nurse much (due to engorgment that I really really needed help with).

I can't remember how long it took to feel normal last time. Afterbirth pains (which feel a lot like contractions), pelvic pain, and back ache are still present and accounted for. But I can now turn over in bed without pain.

My mom leaves this weekend, then D has one more week at home, then I'm on my own outside of the nanny's part time hours. I'll admit it - I'm scared. Just how you coordinate two kids - one of whom has recently discovered the wonders of running - seems beyond me. Of course words seem beyond me right now. (And this is what I'm like when I'm only a bit sleep deprived.) How do you take 2 grocery shopping? I know I'll get it all sorted and that women have been doing it for generations. . .

Let's get back to the good things: (1) healthy baby on the outside of me; (2) a fun, wonderful toddler who is very willing to entertain; and (3) an amazing husband. Those are my top 3 and well worth everything else.

So here's the story. I woke up at 12:50 am at the brand new start of Tuesday 10/30 with contractions between 2-6 minutes apart. I've give them a 4 on the pain scale with a once in a blue moon 6. I dosed between 2:00 and 4:00, then finally got out of bed and worked for a few hours. I got a bit more sleep between 6:00 and 8:00, then got up for the day with Bacon. The contractions were still there and were now more or less continuous. Other than the fact that the contractions hadn't stopped for over 7 hours, there really was no difference in their character than earlier contractions.

I really wanted the pregnancy to be over, so called the doctor as soon as they were open (8:30 am) and asked if I could come in. The nurse said sure and scheduled me for a 10:00 am appointment with the available doctor. Since I assumed they would simply monitor me for 20 minutes then send me home, my mom and Bacon came with me.

At the doctor's I was 2 cm and 70% effaced - barely any change from last week. The doctor offered to "strip my membranes" saying that it might move things along in the next 24 hours. I very readily agreed. They put me on the monitor to check out the baby. The contractions showed up at every 5-ish minutes apart. They were still about a 4 on the pain scale.

I ended up on the monitor for over an hour with things ramping up to jaggedy contractions every 2-3 minutes that were up to a 7. (I was glued to the monitor print out watching the contraction come and go - some were off the top of the scale.) My mom was trying to entertain Bacon and eventually took her to the lobby to get some lunch. We were now well over my 20 minute estimate and well into Bacon's nap time.

The nurse took the print out to the doctor 3 times. The doctor, who was busy with other patients, finally came into the monitoring room about 3 seconds after I started losing it. I had now been contracting for something like 11 hours, was low on sleep, and was worried that there was no end in sight. I was trying to keep it together because there was a woman behind another curtain in the same room who was clearly worried about her pregnancy and I didn't want to alarm her. But, like I said, I did lose it - I started sobbing right when the doctor came in. I had another cervical check which showed me to be almost 4 cm dilated and 75% effaced. This got me an offer to the hospital. (They thought the contractions were close enough together and were a little worried about some accelerations with the baby.) I very happily agreed.

I had been working with a client to finalize a deal earlier that morning. I turned over further negotiations to my team leader in the elevator from the doctor's office. (She did a great job finalizing things.)

I ended up driving my mom and Bacon home where D met me and drove me back to the hospital. We got there about 3:00 pm. Checking into the hospital and getting set up was totally different than with Bacon. With Bacon, my water had broken in the middle of the night. A call to my doctor's sent me to the hospital triage where they determined that my water really had broken and got me to a room. I thought thing went smoothly in part because I had already been to triage a few times. This time around was actually easier. Triage was empty when we got there - no nurses or patients. D located a nurse, who was expecting us and took us to our room. She was our nurse for labor and delivery. I'll call her BNITW (best nurse in the world). The place seemed silent - like there was no one there but us.

At this point, I was feeling the best I had all day, but was still well past decision making. BNITW, who I didn't know was BNITW yet, asked if I wanted an epideral and since I said yes, asked if I wanted one right now. This seemed like too much for me to decide. After more calm prodding, I finally agreed that it did make sense that if I wanted an epideral I should have one before things got rough. It took a little time for the epideral to come, during which was wasn't really uncomfortable. The contractions were 6-7 minutes apart and again back to a 4. I felt guilty for not being more in pain with the contractions closer together.

The epideral came at about 4:00 pm. The doctor had me lay on my side at the edge of the bed. With Bacon they had me sit up and it took 3 sticks and resulted in an area of limited pain relief. This time, it only took one stick but I had some serious although incredibly short term nerve pain behind my left hip. (Really no big deal at all.) I was checked again after the epideral kicked in and was 4-5 cm and 75% effaced. It was disappointing. I felt guilty that things hadn't progressed.

The doctor broke my water and lots of gushing ensued, followed by more gushing, then some leaking and some more leaking.

Shortly after that, I wasn't worried about anything. The epideral actually made me feel drunk (without any of the negative side effects). BNITW was guessing delivery between 7 and 10 that night. I couldn't believe it would be so soon, but really didn't care if it took longer. (With Bacon everything took forever and involved at least a moderate degree of pain.) They gave me pitocin to increase and regulate the contractions, which I couldn't feel. I think BNITW did a fantastic job of regulating the meds in such a way that things easily and smoothly progressed to where they should be.

D and I chatted with BNITW and her dinner relief. Around 7:00 pm, before any physical checks, BNITW guessed that I'd deliver at 7:51 pm and the baby would weigh 7 lbs. 15 oz. Just slightly after 7:51 pm, in the middle of a conversation, I noticed that the sensations from my nether regions had changed. I remember interrupting them (at this point I didn't really feel drunk any more, just a little out there). I was asked if it felt like I had to push and while I wouldn't have described it as that myself, there was this desire to curl up and do something.

BNITW did a quick check and I was 9 cm and 90% effaced. She emptied my bladder, asked me to do a few "practice pushes" and called for the doctor.

They got a big spot light out and moved a mirror so I could watch things. BNITW had already done most of the prep work a while earlier. They didn't take off the end of the bed. The only real difference I remember was the doctor getting geared up in a face shield and paper gown.

I did pushes in groups of three timed with my contractions. At first they had me hold onto my thighs and push which really didn't work. My thighs are just too close to the rest of me to actually get any purchase. I was having trouble getting enough oxygen. I asked if I could put my feet together. I ended up pushing holding onto my feet. It worked really well. I did 3-ish sets of pushes using thighs (didn't really help things moving) and then 2-3 using feet(lots of good movement) and baby A came out. Total pushing time was about 20 minutes. Although the cord was around A's neck, the doctor simply pulled it away when his head was out. D cut the cord. (With Bacon, there was much more too do about the cord neck thing.)

There was a great moment with both Bacon and A when there's suddenly this huge baby head sticking out of you that is many things all wrapped up in the same moment - wonderful, scary things. It is a moment between lifes - the before and after of having a child. You've still kind of pregnant. And you've almost had a child. A cusp.

After he came out, cheese covered and quickly pooping and crying. BNITW got him on my chest and breast feeding. I got to see the placenta - which I really wanted to do with Bacon but was too caught up in other things. Another nurse brought it over and explained the sides and other details. I didn't need any stitches.

It took A a while to heat up. He stayed under the heat lamps for about a 1/2 hour. But eventually measured fine. BNITW bathed him and wrapped him up and we all went up to our post delivery room.

The lack of sleep is catching up with me, but generally still all good here. I think the post-amazing labor and delivery euphoria is wearing off. Its sad to see it go. I wanted to post the labor and deliver story, but can't manage it right now. So instead, more facts about stuff:

Baby A appears to look like me. A general summary is that D is tall, dark and handsome. I am moderately tall, have blue/green eyes and am fish belly white in the winter with greenish undertones. I don't have much of an upper lip. We both have cleft chins. Bacon looks like D and got his 2 lips. Baby A has dark hair, but fair eye brows and lashes. He has less lower face than Bacon, but definitely has a cleft chin. (Bacon is just getting hers.) He has no upper lip. (We're really not as strange as this catalogue of features makes us sound.)

A is sleeping all the time, except the portion of the night when he's nursing. He went from a birth weight of 7 lbs. 13 oz. to 7 lbs. 4 oz. at the doctor's today. I think he's nursing well, but has been choosing sleeping over nursing. I'll sleep better once I'm okay with that. I'm still sleeping with ear plugs. They really work to help me not hear all the little stuff and get some sleep between the big stuff.

I love having my mom in town and I love the fact that she's thinks the kids are great. I can't think of a better feeling than someone loving your children.

I'm almost too tired to form complete sentences right now, but wanted to quickly say how ultimately great everything went. From little sleep and relentless contractions at home, to the doctor's office where I had my membranes stripped, off to the hospital where the world's greatest nurse got things rolling along and where I gave birth five (count them 5!) hours later. About 20 minutes of pushing. No tears or lacerations. A dream birth as far as I'm concerned.

Bacon loves the baby. Baby A is nursing like a champ and I am, so far, pain-free. (I knew there was a reason I hadn't weaned Bacon.)

Six hard pregnancies and one hard birth. This is a very nice reward.

He was born on Tuesday, October 30 at 8:14 pm.