The Middle Chapters

D got laid off last week. Well, that was a worry I hadn't thought of. When he came home early on the day it happened, I actually cried with happiness - yeah, three weeks' worth of help with these crazy kids! (Three week because that's how much severance pay he gets.) Its been mostly good so far - I'm not always the go-to parent which is very nice. He's out at an interview now and has another one on Friday. He's got what I hear are very marketable skills in his field which is very big where we live. I hope that actually means he finds a job with a reasonable commute that he really likes that pays well soon. Is that too much to ask for?

Bacon is getting to be a lot of fun again, but its new different fun. She's definitely growing up. A (who needs a nickname) is very sunny when awake and a relatively good sleeper. But, he has a tough time at the transition between awake and asleep. If we don't time things well, we get 10-20 minutes of wailing before he finally wakes up or, more likely, goes to sleep. Depending on what else is going on at the time, this can be a serious bummer. But, to count blessings, he's not colicky and generally doesn't cry much for other reasons.

Bacon turns two on Saturday. A is now three months old. Wow, when did this happen?

The playdates were great over the past week. They really helped us get through our 4:00 witching hour. This week I also went to the local community center's toddler play time twice. A very excellent way to wear out a toddler and get her more than 2 feet from me. (I was amazed that Bacon was very happy to run around and play with toys without my participation or even knowing where I am.) After some advice on choices for 2 year olds - don't give them a yes/no option but do give them 2 choices in moving forward, we've had a better week. A's sleep was much improved until the last 2 nights. Oh well, that's how it goes - which is easier for me to say after a week of good sleep.

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, even though I'm turning 41 next month. I know I want to work (which is good because the mortgage needs it) but I'm trying to explore some options on how, where and how much. I don't know why I'm surprised, but fellow mothers in my field have been great at sharing their experiences and ideas. My field - or at least parts of it - aren't as old school as I thought. I had dinner with a client on Tuesday and got a job offer. My goal is to change things up this summer, but I'm not sure what that will look like yet.

I can't believe how long an individual day can be and how quickly the weeks have flown since A was born. I think we are getting to a bit of the difficult part. Bacon has been sick for the last few weeks - nothing big, just a runny nose and a serious case of crabby toddler. She's just starting to feel better and say something other than "no baby" or "movie, movie, movie." (She "requests" movies of herself on my laptop whenever I come within 10 feet of the it.) A's sleep has gotten worse since his shots last Monday. He's also decided that he hates being strapped in the carseat and hates the car. So, if I'm home with both Bacon is clinging and if I leave the house A is wailing.

As an aside, I was recently thinking how easy things must have been when I only had one newborn, even though it didn't feel like it at the time. Now that A is doing the wailing thing in public, I now remember why it wasn't so easy and why I took so many walks around the neighborhood.

I emailed friends and begged for playdates at our house. So far I have plans for Thursday and Friday this week and next Wednesday. If we can avoid non-stop "mine, mine, mine!!!" (another relatively new phrase from Bacon) they should help the days go much faster and I may actually get to speak to an adult other than D.

I'm contemplating work/home options and don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not sure why, but nothing can make me feel as incompetent as having a newborn.

Since I've posted that is. We made it through the holidays with lots of good memories and no crying (on my part). A is growing and generally sleeping well. He's up to 11 lbs. 12 oz. Sleep has been great the last several days until the decision to throw a New Year's Eve party. Me and both kids up. But it was a good party (at least through 11:30 when I went to bed.) And all the good sleep this week means I'm not insane today.

I realized yesterday that in the 8 weeks that A has been alive, I've only been on my own with Bacon and A for 3 weeks - the one advantage to having him right before the holidays.