Thursday, May 31, 2007
News on the bambino
We had an ultrasound yesterday. It looks like we have a healthy baby - BOY!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Marriage and baby
This morning there was a story on Good Morning America (I think) about a program that is following married couples. Its a documentary, like 7-Up, I think. Well, anyway, it got me to thinking about my marriage. I will be married 4 years in July. Everything started with a miscarriage, then a year of trying to get pregnant again, then 3 more miscarriages, then my pregnancy with Bacon, her first year, then this current pregnancy.
Strangely, when I look back at my marriage, last year was the hardest. Strangely, the first 2 years of miscarriage were great marriage years. We pulled together. I felt very loved. We had a fantastic delayed honeymoon a year after we got married.
Marriage with a newborn was hard. None of my clothes fit. I was in pain from plugged ducts. I was sleep deprived. I was constantly challenged by being a new parent. And the marriage part of my life took a back seat. I remember thinking, shortly before Bacon was sleeping through the night, that life would be easier without D. Things got much better with sleep -- and the end of the pain.
Things with the family are very fun now. But, life with a family -- not just a husband -- is different. When it was just the 2 of us, marriage wasn't work. It just happened. I think I'm finally getting that it is a bit a work, more maybe it's more accurate to say that I have to pay attention to it and give it some of my time and effort. I love D and can't imagine life without him. I'm concerned about life with a newborn again. But remembering the marriage, the love and the joy apart from the family are important.
Strangely, when I look back at my marriage, last year was the hardest. Strangely, the first 2 years of miscarriage were great marriage years. We pulled together. I felt very loved. We had a fantastic delayed honeymoon a year after we got married.
Marriage with a newborn was hard. None of my clothes fit. I was in pain from plugged ducts. I was sleep deprived. I was constantly challenged by being a new parent. And the marriage part of my life took a back seat. I remember thinking, shortly before Bacon was sleeping through the night, that life would be easier without D. Things got much better with sleep -- and the end of the pain.
Things with the family are very fun now. But, life with a family -- not just a husband -- is different. When it was just the 2 of us, marriage wasn't work. It just happened. I think I'm finally getting that it is a bit a work, more maybe it's more accurate to say that I have to pay attention to it and give it some of my time and effort. I love D and can't imagine life without him. I'm concerned about life with a newborn again. But remembering the marriage, the love and the joy apart from the family are important.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
ouch
The weather here has been great, which led to our first family trip to the zoo this weekend, which led to my first unplanned doctor's visit on Monday. Cramping, which feels similar to my premature contractions with Bacon, started on Saturday; continued on Sunday; with some more on Monday. I called the doctor to see if I could take ibruprofen (which worked wonders last go 'round) and the nurse suggested I come in. They tested for a bladder/urinary tract infection just to make sure - none. The doctor confirmed that ibuprofen was fine. But suggested that if I started taking it all the time to come in to be checked because it can have an effect on amniotic fluid levels.
The answer seems to be rest and ibuprofen. Not that I'm convinced that the cramping would lead anywhere, its simply annoying, a touch painful and (a bit) worrisome. I'm trying not to remind myself that this didn't start in earnest with Bacon until week 22. Instead, I'm remember the contraction we saw on the 13 week untrasound (I think) that I didn't feel with her.
I didn't even get a doppler on Monday. It totally slipped my mind at the time. (Having a nap-free 15 month old with me had something to do with it.) I definitely feel gipped. I may keep my scheduled appointment next week just to make sure things are perking along.
The answer seems to be rest and ibuprofen. Not that I'm convinced that the cramping would lead anywhere, its simply annoying, a touch painful and (a bit) worrisome. I'm trying not to remind myself that this didn't start in earnest with Bacon until week 22. Instead, I'm remember the contraction we saw on the 13 week untrasound (I think) that I didn't feel with her.
I didn't even get a doppler on Monday. It totally slipped my mind at the time. (Having a nap-free 15 month old with me had something to do with it.) I definitely feel gipped. I may keep my scheduled appointment next week just to make sure things are perking along.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Explaining the explaining
After I posted my last post, I started thinking that anyone who might read it might think that I was being unreadably smug about the success (so far) of this pregnancy. I'm sorry if it came out that way. With every past pregnancy, I have been convinced 24/7 that everything was going to end in doom, that it's simply amazing to me not to feel that way. In thinking about it, it's not actually confidence in success -- it's simply not confidence in failure.
I was so frightened at Bacon's birth. I was simply convinced that if she made it out of me, that we would lose her very soon afterward. As soon as she was born, I kept telling my husband to take photos because I wanted a record of her while she was alive. In hindsight it seems strange to feel so absolutely sure that she wouldn't survive, but I was.
This time around, I still have the list of everything that can go wrong running through my head. But, I don't feel that overwhelming conviction that every milestone passed means fewer options that lead to failure without removing the certainty of failure.
Because I'm 40 I was (and am) concerned with genetic issues. We did a 1st trimester screen and got our results for Downs - 1 in 1000 - a great number for my age. We haven't gotten info on any of the other potential issues and while there still circling around my head, I'm not so overwhelmingly worried about them.
I'm thrilled to be through-ish the first trimester. I'm in week 12 now. The second trimester was great with Bacon. I am dreading the 3rd trimester a bit, but really trying not to borrow trouble. I was on bedrest for 2 out of the last 3 months last go round with premature contraction (that did absolutely nothing other than make me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious.) As my OB said, because I delivered at 38 weeks with Bacon, they can't say that the early contraction were serious (because they didn't lead to "early" labor) or not serious (because I didn't make it to 40 weeks). As I told her, I did feel very cared for with my medical care last time, so whatever happens I've been through enough stuff that I hopefully have a good frame of reference for this go around.
I was so frightened at Bacon's birth. I was simply convinced that if she made it out of me, that we would lose her very soon afterward. As soon as she was born, I kept telling my husband to take photos because I wanted a record of her while she was alive. In hindsight it seems strange to feel so absolutely sure that she wouldn't survive, but I was.
This time around, I still have the list of everything that can go wrong running through my head. But, I don't feel that overwhelming conviction that every milestone passed means fewer options that lead to failure without removing the certainty of failure.
Because I'm 40 I was (and am) concerned with genetic issues. We did a 1st trimester screen and got our results for Downs - 1 in 1000 - a great number for my age. We haven't gotten info on any of the other potential issues and while there still circling around my head, I'm not so overwhelmingly worried about them.
I'm thrilled to be through-ish the first trimester. I'm in week 12 now. The second trimester was great with Bacon. I am dreading the 3rd trimester a bit, but really trying not to borrow trouble. I was on bedrest for 2 out of the last 3 months last go round with premature contraction (that did absolutely nothing other than make me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious.) As my OB said, because I delivered at 38 weeks with Bacon, they can't say that the early contraction were serious (because they didn't lead to "early" labor) or not serious (because I didn't make it to 40 weeks). As I told her, I did feel very cared for with my medical care last time, so whatever happens I've been through enough stuff that I hopefully have a good frame of reference for this go around.
