Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Marriage and baby
This morning there was a story on Good Morning America (I think) about a program that is following married couples. Its a documentary, like 7-Up, I think. Well, anyway, it got me to thinking about my marriage. I will be married 4 years in July. Everything started with a miscarriage, then a year of trying to get pregnant again, then 3 more miscarriages, then my pregnancy with Bacon, her first year, then this current pregnancy.
Strangely, when I look back at my marriage, last year was the hardest. Strangely, the first 2 years of miscarriage were great marriage years. We pulled together. I felt very loved. We had a fantastic delayed honeymoon a year after we got married.
Marriage with a newborn was hard. None of my clothes fit. I was in pain from plugged ducts. I was sleep deprived. I was constantly challenged by being a new parent. And the marriage part of my life took a back seat. I remember thinking, shortly before Bacon was sleeping through the night, that life would be easier without D. Things got much better with sleep -- and the end of the pain.
Things with the family are very fun now. But, life with a family -- not just a husband -- is different. When it was just the 2 of us, marriage wasn't work. It just happened. I think I'm finally getting that it is a bit a work, more maybe it's more accurate to say that I have to pay attention to it and give it some of my time and effort. I love D and can't imagine life without him. I'm concerned about life with a newborn again. But remembering the marriage, the love and the joy apart from the family are important.
Strangely, when I look back at my marriage, last year was the hardest. Strangely, the first 2 years of miscarriage were great marriage years. We pulled together. I felt very loved. We had a fantastic delayed honeymoon a year after we got married.
Marriage with a newborn was hard. None of my clothes fit. I was in pain from plugged ducts. I was sleep deprived. I was constantly challenged by being a new parent. And the marriage part of my life took a back seat. I remember thinking, shortly before Bacon was sleeping through the night, that life would be easier without D. Things got much better with sleep -- and the end of the pain.
Things with the family are very fun now. But, life with a family -- not just a husband -- is different. When it was just the 2 of us, marriage wasn't work. It just happened. I think I'm finally getting that it is a bit a work, more maybe it's more accurate to say that I have to pay attention to it and give it some of my time and effort. I love D and can't imagine life without him. I'm concerned about life with a newborn again. But remembering the marriage, the love and the joy apart from the family are important.
