The Middle Chapters

Baby M is a little over 2 weeks old now. It seems like ages ago that I was pregnant. I generally remember how uncomfortable and unhappy I was at the end. But, the memories are very vague. I know I had a pain in my lower right ribs for months. But, I can't picture the pain. The contractions - again, I remember I had them, but I can't remember them. The same thing is true about labor. I remember is hurt. I remember not being able to focus on anything but the pain, but I can't remember the pain. This is really a good thing I know, but I'm amazed that such strong experiences are gone so quickly.

Another thing, I wondered what M would look like. There was a bit of fear that she would inherit all the funny looking aspects of my family - my grandmother's lantern jaw; my dad's big head; my squinty eyes. I assumed that, like most babies, she would look like a little old man. I am totally biased - I think she's beautiful.

I think I'm finally getting used to the idea that we get to keep her. That she's not a loaner. That she's going to be with us for a long time. It's a different mind set - the fact that something essential to our lives is different - that we're now parents. Wow.