The Middle Chapters

Baby M is three weeks old plus a day. D's parents left this morning after almost a week of having them in town. Every day is the same and different. Sleep, eat, change diapers, do laundry, repeat. A night of four hours between feedings is followed by a night with hours of fussing (that was last night).

I needed my counseling session today. While I'm mostly up and happy, there are times when I crash and everything seems bleak. I have a history of depression (which started well before the miscarriages) so I'm at risk for post-partum depression. I think I've just been experiencing the baby blues so far. I just feel so alone and isolated sometimes. Then I don't. D's on the verge of starting a big project at work and I dread him being home even less than he currently is. Hopefully I'll bite the bullet and we'll talk about options this weekend. I assume that everything will get better - M will get a schedule, she will give me more feed back, my hormones will get back in check. I'm looking forward to all of this.