The Middle Chapters

I read several entries from other bloggers over the years addressing the question of whether women who go through infertility or recurrent miscarriage get over it. After a lot of thought, I've come up with what I think is a very reasonable conclusion -- that its a lot like being a geeky teenager. Back in high school, there were those that skipped acne and being all knees and elbows. They knew how to apply makeup without looking silly and actually had dates with boys. Then there were the rest of us. The ackward, funny-looking and uncomfortable. I think I was at least 18 before my knees weren't the widest part of my legs.

Luckily, I grew out of it, but never forgot those years. The comparison between me and girls that looked like celebrity girls look today -- who I've always told myself peaked in high school. To judge the difference between high school and later, its easier to look at other people. To see the boys who played computer games vs. the sports stars -- those who became the kind thoughtful adults vs. the beer-drinking armchair quarterbacks. (Guess which one I married.)

Anyway, back to the point: while high school was easy for some; it wasn't for others. The hard, painful experiences shaped us into the adults we became. I think infertility or recurrent miscarriage is like this. When we're fortunate enough to have children, it doesn't erase the taunts in the hallway or more specifically the pain of loss after loss. These experiences shaped and changed us and forever impact the way that we view the world.