The Middle Chapters

The other night I had a dream that I was back to working full time and it felt wonderful. I woke up thinking about the dream. The feelings were so strong, yet so different than work actually feels in real life. I enjoy the work part of work. I like the challenges and the successes, and well, the income. I don't like the politics and in particular, some of the interpersonal issues of my actual job. I also don't enjoy the stress associated with the balancing. Today was a day of very bad balance - my fault. It was a no nanny day that I needed to work for an unknown period. Back-up plan D was finally in place - my wonderful friend L agreed to watch Bacon while I was busy. And I was a bad friend. I went hours over my estimated time with a dead cell phone and without calling her. I kept thinking that we were close to wrapping up and I'd call when I was heading out. Things kept stretching out. They were worried. They ended up calling D. He was worried. He went to pick up Bacon without a carseat. L had to feed Bacon dinner. She went through all of the diapers I sent. Traffic was horrible. It took me forever to get there.

I apologized and will apologize again to both L and D. I hate being a bad friend. I try to be thoughtful, but sometimes, like today, I totally blow it. It was all me -- strangely enough (1) trying to only pay for parking that I would need while not getting ticketed or towed -- I ended up moving the car twice; and (2) representing my client while doing things as quickly as possible which included follow up calls to my office and the client and getting my office to do on-line research for me (the work was out of the office). Boy, I can make things complicated when I really try.