Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The visit home
I'm back today from my visit home. My biggest worry about the trip was my dad's reaction to the baby. Without going into a lot of detail, let's just say he's very critical - about just about everything. There's a right way to be and to do things and I typically am not and do not do things right. (While this has always been his way, he praises me and my siblings to everyone he meets, just not to us - "Let me tell you about my bright, well employed, and attractive children.") My dad has always had this thing about looks - boyfriends/husbands/children should be tall, blond haired and blue eyed. I have no idea where this came from since of the 3, he's only tall. It's been this way for forever. Past boyfriends and my husband have been criticized for their height, hair and eye color. Of the 3, my husband is only tall and so far, my daughter is none. While I can generally put his comments where they belong (after years of therapy), I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to when it came to my daughter.
This visit was important to me. Although I can't control how my dad reacts to my daughter, I really wanted them to meet. My dad turned 73 this month and while his health is generally good, many of his friends are either dying or having serious health problems. I didn't want to miss an opportunity for my daughter to meet him.
My mom warned me ahead of time that my dad isn't a baby person. True to form, he did not touch the baby except for the one time I put her in his arms and another when I leaned her in for a kiss. (I took photos of the first and my sister commented that she has a very similar picture of dad looking equally uncomfortable with her daughter.) He made 2 comments about her eye color - one about photoshopping a color change in photos and one about colored contact lenses. Given his nature, these were mild comments and ones that didn't wound (although I clearly noticed them).
My dad did come up with a nickname for the baby - Octavia - because she is his 8th grandchild. Funny thing, but it really touched my heart.
This visit was important to me. Although I can't control how my dad reacts to my daughter, I really wanted them to meet. My dad turned 73 this month and while his health is generally good, many of his friends are either dying or having serious health problems. I didn't want to miss an opportunity for my daughter to meet him.
My mom warned me ahead of time that my dad isn't a baby person. True to form, he did not touch the baby except for the one time I put her in his arms and another when I leaned her in for a kiss. (I took photos of the first and my sister commented that she has a very similar picture of dad looking equally uncomfortable with her daughter.) He made 2 comments about her eye color - one about photoshopping a color change in photos and one about colored contact lenses. Given his nature, these were mild comments and ones that didn't wound (although I clearly noticed them).
My dad did come up with a nickname for the baby - Octavia - because she is his 8th grandchild. Funny thing, but it really touched my heart.
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Octavia - that's a cute nickname... I am glad the visit with your dad went well. In spite of the comments about contacts. I had to laugh at he tells everyone but his own children how proud he is of you. My mom used to be like that. Slowly she's changing - not much, but occasionally you hear a great compliment. And usually you're floored by it. So no contacts for baby Octavia... you maybe next time want to buy some glasses and paint blue eyes on them... (I don't know that he'd get the joke but he might?)
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