The Middle Chapters

In the just over 6 weeks that M has been alive, I'm amazed at my ability to feel totally overwhelmed and feel totally competent - these feelings seem to take turns. We've had no crazy fussy days for over a week. Yeah! But now M fusses during feedings. After some on-line advise about "compressing" the breast, things seem to be going better, but still, feeding was the one time that I could count on to be peaceful, but no longer.

All told, it is getting easier. I can't really say why other than I'm getting used to things and better at calming M. She's not sleeping any better. I have very little time during the day when I have my hands free. But, she makes eye contact now and holds her head up some and every now and again, I convince myself that she's smiling.

I had a girls' night out without the baby on Thursday. It was wonderful. I met up with 3 of my girlfriends - all in very different places in their lives. I loved talking with them. I think the girls' night needs to be a regular part of my life. I felt so re-energized and so much more myself after being with my friends.

Talking with my doctor last Wednesday, she said she would be concerned about anyone who, after having their first child, didn't feel some upset. She talked about it being such a huge change that, of course, would impact a person's feelings. I hadn't really thought of it before. It just seemed that, since people have been having children forever, that it was a "natural" transition that I should be able to make without missing a step. I felt like I wasn't doing it right. Hearing the doctor put it that way, and the fact that things are getting easier seems to be making things easier.