Sunday, March 12, 2006
The days (and nights) are long; the years are short
M is a little over five weeks old and I've already heard this saying many times. In my limited experience, it makes total sense. When M wants to eat every hour or two, fusses non-stop inbetween, and spits up (a lot) on an unpredictable basis, the days are very long. After talking about it several times, D plans to get together with a co-worker after work on Friday. I was hip with it until Friday happened. M didn't sleep all day, ate every two hours or less and fussed. By 5:00, I was sorely in need of a break. After getting my voice mails saying I needed him home, D cancelled his plans. Of course, M fell asleep a little after 6:00 (before D got home) and snoozed the whole evening.
For the first time, we planned for D handling a bottle feeding in the middle of the night. He took the midnight-ish feeding, although I know (because I was awake listening to her fuss) that she didn't get back to sleep until after 1:00 am. Although I was awake for part of it, it was easier not being the responsible one. It definitely helped me get better sleep.
Last night, D was tired and not so up for handling a feeding. I gave him a choice hoping he'd opt for either the midnight or 2-3:00 feeding; instead he chose 5:00. After a great day (other than multiple spit ups), we had a rough night. Snoring husband. Feedings at 7:00, 8:30, 10:30, 12:00, some time between 12 and 3, and 3:30. Fussing (and snoring) inbetween. Then she wouldn't go back to sleep and kept wanting to feed, but wouldn't latch well. Finally close to 5:00, after a diaper and outfit change, I woke D and passed her over and got some sleep until 6:30. A very fussy feeding followed by a big spit up. We did another outfit change and came downstairs to rock. She actually slept pretty peacefully until 9:00 when I fed her while she was partially asleep. Now finally, the first time since 7:00 pm, other than the break from 5:00 to 6:30 am, I've put her down and she's actually sleeping on her own.
Part of me can't wait until she's older and we don't have nights like this. But the other part is trying not to wish her older and enjoy these days and nights. When she's peaceful, she's beautiful - it's beautiful. The lack of sleep and the fussing and crying - that's not so beautiful. To some extent, this reminds me of the early days of this pregnancy; counting days and weeks, just trying to get through to the easy part when its less work and worry.
On a really good note, although sometimes it is hard and I've need a break, I haven't had any depressed times in well over a week. I'm hoping this means I'm going to get through post-partum without any major depression.
For the first time, we planned for D handling a bottle feeding in the middle of the night. He took the midnight-ish feeding, although I know (because I was awake listening to her fuss) that she didn't get back to sleep until after 1:00 am. Although I was awake for part of it, it was easier not being the responsible one. It definitely helped me get better sleep.
Last night, D was tired and not so up for handling a feeding. I gave him a choice hoping he'd opt for either the midnight or 2-3:00 feeding; instead he chose 5:00. After a great day (other than multiple spit ups), we had a rough night. Snoring husband. Feedings at 7:00, 8:30, 10:30, 12:00, some time between 12 and 3, and 3:30. Fussing (and snoring) inbetween. Then she wouldn't go back to sleep and kept wanting to feed, but wouldn't latch well. Finally close to 5:00, after a diaper and outfit change, I woke D and passed her over and got some sleep until 6:30. A very fussy feeding followed by a big spit up. We did another outfit change and came downstairs to rock. She actually slept pretty peacefully until 9:00 when I fed her while she was partially asleep. Now finally, the first time since 7:00 pm, other than the break from 5:00 to 6:30 am, I've put her down and she's actually sleeping on her own.
Part of me can't wait until she's older and we don't have nights like this. But the other part is trying not to wish her older and enjoy these days and nights. When she's peaceful, she's beautiful - it's beautiful. The lack of sleep and the fussing and crying - that's not so beautiful. To some extent, this reminds me of the early days of this pregnancy; counting days and weeks, just trying to get through to the easy part when its less work and worry.
On a really good note, although sometimes it is hard and I've need a break, I haven't had any depressed times in well over a week. I'm hoping this means I'm going to get through post-partum without any major depression.
