The Middle Chapters

I think I'm getting better - I'm not crying at everything. But yesterday, I lost it. DH goes back to work on Wednesday. Life alone with a newborn seemed so lonely without him. While she's a wonderful girl, baby M just doesn't need that much right now. I'd always heard about the minimal feed back you get from young children and I guess this is what I'm experiencing. She sleeps most of the day. There's a fair amount of down time and a monkey could do the things I do for her.

I need to find a new way of looking at things (and likely need to come up with projects to keep me busy.) My team leader stopped by yesterday and we ended of speaking almost exclusively about work. I miss it - the effort to perform well for our clients; the team work. But, I can't imagine leaving baby M with someone I don't know (we have no family on this coast). She's not even 2 weeks old. I understand that she and things will change. Half of me is trying to appreciate where she is. The other half just wants to fast forward things.