The Middle Chapters

Baby M was born a week ago today. I cry at the drop of a hat. She's asleep all day and awake late into the night. In the evenings, she's started feeding every hour. I've discovered pumping which is a life saver. I just can't handle four feedings a half hour apart. My attempt to do so made me beside myself with incredibly sore nipples.

I still can't believe we have a baby. It was easier to believe closer to the birth when the memories were fresh. Even after she came out, I was convinced that something would happen to take her from us. Now she just seems like someone else's.

The best and the worst times are breast feeding. In the mornings, she's sleepy, soft and cuddly. Those feedings are wonderful. In the late evening, she's repeatedly hungry, fussy, and cannot be calmed. Those feedings are not so wonderful. I'm hoping the pumping combined with a changing schedule (everything is moving to earlier in the day) and hopefully calming hormones will help things.

We took M on her first stroll through one of the local parks today. The last time we were there was the day we found out we were pregnant for the first time - April 2003. I remember thinking that the next Spring we would have a child. While that didn't happen, it was wonderful to walk through the park, think about the excitement and subsequent sadness of that first pregnancy and think about the wonders of our current life.