Monday, December 12, 2005
Comments and Complaints
I went to 2 holiday parties this weekend - both are annual events that I didn't want to miss. (I skipped last weekend's party and slept instead and felt that I missed out on the holiday spirit.) Saturday's dinner and Sunday's girls' gathering were great, but me - not so great. If I stand, the front hurts (a killer pain right up under my ribs). If I sit, the back hurts. I'm 31 weeks now. Does this mean I have 9 more weeks of only being pain-free when I'm horizontal? The nausea also seems to be coming back. It's not so bad. But in combination with the pain, I just want to pull the cover over my head.
The girls' gathering was thrown by the best hostess around. (I love parties at her house!) The same set of women have been attending this party for the past six or so years. There are a few women that barely see the rest of the year, but see here. Our age range is now 35-43, with most in their late 30s. We've know each other for around 10 years - with one new addition since then. We were all single then. About half the group is now married - all have children except me. Most of the moms have had at least one miscarriage. One of the other women and me have had multiple problems. They all know my story. Most of them know C's. Of the other half, one is engaged and the rest are very single. Some of the very single women always thought that they would get married and have families. One is divorced.
Big topics of the evening were I's engagement and upcoming wedding and whether the moms were going to have any more children. At first, I simply was counting my blessings. Late in the event, I thought that we couldn't have hit on more touchy subjects. I's wedding was going to be discussed regardless. The 2nd or 3rd child topic wasn't so obvious. Is it that children are the default topic for people with children? It reminded me of a fundraiser tea for a child support agency that I attended last year. I was the only one without children at my table. After that first question directed to me - so, how old are your children? There seemed to be nothing else to discuss.
I don't know. I guess trying to avoid every topic that might not sit well with everyone would leave the weather. This group of friends are a great group; a mix of very out-spoken and quite. We're mostly transplants to this city who met through sports or old boyfriends. We are mostly happy with a pinch of bitterness thrown in. We range from the head of the household to meekly following their partner's rules. (Okay, this last one gets a lot of ribbing from some members of the group.) Four of us are in the same field. Two work for the same large company. We range from fashionable to hippie-like.
Where am I heading with this? Nowhere I guess. At this point, I'm well into memories of how we met and how we ended up staying friends through all the years and changes in our lives.
The girls' gathering was thrown by the best hostess around. (I love parties at her house!) The same set of women have been attending this party for the past six or so years. There are a few women that barely see the rest of the year, but see here. Our age range is now 35-43, with most in their late 30s. We've know each other for around 10 years - with one new addition since then. We were all single then. About half the group is now married - all have children except me. Most of the moms have had at least one miscarriage. One of the other women and me have had multiple problems. They all know my story. Most of them know C's. Of the other half, one is engaged and the rest are very single. Some of the very single women always thought that they would get married and have families. One is divorced.
Big topics of the evening were I's engagement and upcoming wedding and whether the moms were going to have any more children. At first, I simply was counting my blessings. Late in the event, I thought that we couldn't have hit on more touchy subjects. I's wedding was going to be discussed regardless. The 2nd or 3rd child topic wasn't so obvious. Is it that children are the default topic for people with children? It reminded me of a fundraiser tea for a child support agency that I attended last year. I was the only one without children at my table. After that first question directed to me - so, how old are your children? There seemed to be nothing else to discuss.
I don't know. I guess trying to avoid every topic that might not sit well with everyone would leave the weather. This group of friends are a great group; a mix of very out-spoken and quite. We're mostly transplants to this city who met through sports or old boyfriends. We are mostly happy with a pinch of bitterness thrown in. We range from the head of the household to meekly following their partner's rules. (Okay, this last one gets a lot of ribbing from some members of the group.) Four of us are in the same field. Two work for the same large company. We range from fashionable to hippie-like.
Where am I heading with this? Nowhere I guess. At this point, I'm well into memories of how we met and how we ended up staying friends through all the years and changes in our lives.
