Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Here comes the fear
I can't believe that I forgot how hard it gets after the betas are done. Without the every other day reassurance that things are okay, the fear and worry start taking over. Although the betas were good (assuming I'm somewhere in the 5th week), I'm not having the same symptoms that I did with the first pregnancy (that continued the longest). I'm trying not to obsess, but I'm really not having any luck.
I was just reading Jen's story of her pregnancy at http://oneof100.blogspot.com/. I admire her ability early on to think that no news means continued pregnancy. With two "missed" miscarriages, I keep thinking the worst.
I now have a yeast infection (I hate Progesterone) and thought I might have had a hint of spotting yesterday. Yes, I am driving myself crazy.
Using the betas and the negative FRED on 6/4 as my evidence, I calculate that I am in the range of 5wd3-5wd5. (Based on LMP, I should be 6w1d. But that only works if the 6/4 FRED was a false negative.) This puts me in the range of where I lost three out of four pregnancies.
Yes, I'm totally overthinking this. I have acupuncture is a few hours. Hopefully that will help take my mind off of this.
I just need to get to Friday's ultrasound. I'll ask about a beta too.
I was just reading Jen's story of her pregnancy at http://oneof100.blogspot.com/. I admire her ability early on to think that no news means continued pregnancy. With two "missed" miscarriages, I keep thinking the worst.
I now have a yeast infection (I hate Progesterone) and thought I might have had a hint of spotting yesterday. Yes, I am driving myself crazy.
Using the betas and the negative FRED on 6/4 as my evidence, I calculate that I am in the range of 5wd3-5wd5. (Based on LMP, I should be 6w1d. But that only works if the 6/4 FRED was a false negative.) This puts me in the range of where I lost three out of four pregnancies.
Yes, I'm totally overthinking this. I have acupuncture is a few hours. Hopefully that will help take my mind off of this.
I just need to get to Friday's ultrasound. I'll ask about a beta too.
