The Middle Chapters

Today's ultrasound went good-ish. After discussing when my last cycle started and the whole birth control pill thing/negative home pregnancy test, they saw a yolk sac. Officially, I'm 6w3d. My doctor said that the embryo is measuring 5 1/2 weeks. This puts me on the early side of where I was calculating things. (This is good because it makes my betas look better. This is bad because it means that dreaded week 5 continues.) The doctor complimented the yolk sac, so I'm thinking this is good.

I've been relatively un-freaked out so far. The worst have been during my last post (posting actually helped calm me down) and right before the ultrasound. I started sobbing when the ultrasound was done. I think it was part relief and part residual anxiety. I need the next ultrasound to see if there has been growth since this one.

I had planned on asking about a beta. I didn't. I wanted to ask about implantation. I didn't. But the doctor did say I can come in as often as I want - once; even twice a week. (This was during the crying part.) We scheduled my next ultrasound for next Tuesday. We'll be looking for a fetal pole or maybe even a heart beat.

I'm trying to live in the moment - but I suck at it. It's hard to simply be happy that I'm pregnant when I've been through this so many times.

If you have any extra good thoughts hanging around, please send them my way.